


Zig and Zag

by flickerthenflare



Series: Broadway and Baby 'verse [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 06:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4008769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flickerthenflare/pseuds/flickerthenflare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt surprises them both by wanting a baby first. He’s not above hinting or scheming to get Blaine on board.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zig and Zag

Kurt surprises them both by wanting a baby first. It starts with nudges and hints. It’s Kurt cooing at babies in the park and making Blaine look so often that Blaine turns it into a game to see if he can spot the baby before Kurt does.  Kurt wants Blaine to look at cute baby clothes. He wants to design cute baby clothes. He wants Blaine to talk to him about the cute baby to put in the clothes. It’s cute and baffling.

It turns into outright pleading and flattery.

It’s the post-coital babbling of, "You're going to be such a hot dad," while Kurt presses kisses to every inch of skin he can reach. Blaine’s first thought is to wonder what's wrong with him now, unguarded and open to Kurt’s scrutiny, that makes Kurt think about what he'll be like when he's so much older. His fingers fly to his own face. Kurt laughs and kisses there too.

It’s cheering up Kurt after a rough day and Kurt expressing his gratitude with a soft smile and, “You would be so good at bringing up an impressionable little person. You’ve got the pep talks down.”

It’s the pillow talk murmured in Blaine’s ear while Kurt tangles their feet together of, “I know we can’t have it all, but I want as much as possible. We’re young, but this could be right for us. I think about the life that I want and it’s _this_. I can be less selfish.”

With an impressive amount of willpower, Blaine keeps from agreeing immediately. 

Blaine has fixated on weirder fantasies and repeatedly hinted at them until Kurt either made them happen, told him no, or noncommittally held out long enough for Blaine to move on to something else. Blaine expects the last tactic will work for him, and then next time Kurt fixates on having a baby, they’ll be more ready.

He underestimates Kurt’s new obsession. Kurt has so many opportunities to comment or just get that look in his eye where Blaine knows what he’s thinking, and it doesn’t stop. It only gets more pointed as Kurt’s patience for noncommittal runs out.

“Give me something to go on here,” Kurt wheedles one day where they’re holding hands and passing a mom with a stroller (Blaine spotted it first).  

"Have we hit some kind of three year rut?" Maybe Kurt thrives on chaos and it's taken Blaine this long to notice. It certainly explains Kurt’s choice in friends and careers.

“Like I’d want a kid with someone _boring_ ,” Kurt scoffs.

Blaine voices the next ugly thought after escorting them around a puddle. "Are you tired of me fussing over you?"

Blaine likes taking care of people he loves. He hasn’t always been great about expressing his feelings, but he can be kind. ‘Overly eager to impress,’ if he’s feeling uncharitable toward himself.

"Maybe I'm getting selfless enough to share," Kurt teases lightly. “I don’t think planning our lives together is cause for concern, honey. You still want one?”

“One day,” Blaine promises. Blaine pictures it too sometimes. One day, when they’ve spent a few more years earning more money than they spend. When they own instead of rent. Only one of them can be completely unpractical at a time – it’s an unstated rule of their relationship – and obviously it’s Kurt’s turn. Blaine can play the voice of reason. The mature, adult thing to do is insist they’re not old enough. “Once it’s practical. It has to make sense for us. We better start planning that big break now.”

Shortly thereafter, Kurt announces, “I created a savings account.”

“Please tell me you already had one,” Blaine pleads. They have a joint account for shared expenses, but mostly they keep their money separate. For the good of their relationship, neither knows what the other spends on frivolous things, but it adds some mystery to how the other chooses to manage money.

“For the baby,” Kurt clarifies, returning Blaine’s _you’re nuts but I love you_ look. “We can put money in there and know not to touch it.” Kurt tilts the computer toward Blaine.

Blaine completely understands wanting something that seems too much. But someone has to be the voice of reason. “It’s a start – it’s great, Kurt, really – but we still can’t really do anything yet. No one is going to let us have one if we’re not ready.”

“So we’ll make our own. We don’t need anyone’s permission for that,” Kurt says with satisfaction. “We just need to pay for it.”

Blaine follows Kurt’s gesture to the screen with the savings account and stares at the figure dumbly. “That’s a lot of designer shoes.”

“I really want this.”

Somehow, the amount of shoes that money would buy convinces Blaine. “Okay, look, I’ll transfer some money in as well, but this is going to take a while. I don’t think a surrogate is something we want to get a bargain deal on.”

"How soon until we can actually plan?" Kurt presses.

Blaine indulgently laughs and thinks nothing of saying, "You've already started. I'm not going to stop you."

That turns out to be a mistake. 

***

Kurt hums with enough excitement that Blaine knows he’s either about to get laid or listen to an hour-long verbal explosion on something Kurt wants to create. Rachel is here smiling brightly when Blaine enters their kitchen with groceries, so Blaine assumes the latter.

Their kiss in greeting is more enthusiastic and off-center than usual. Kurt practically vibrates under Blaine’s hands.

“Rachel agreed!”

Blaine thinks back to everything they’ve discussed doing with Rachel recently. “To marathon karaoke this Sunday?”

“She’s going to be our surrogate.”

Blaine feels the blood drain from his face fast enough to make him dizzy. He lets go of Kurt and grips the counter behind him for support. His mouth moves while the rest of him is in shock. “You – you can’t just ask to borrow a uterus like a cup of sugar!”

“It happened to come up,” Kurt defends, but Blaine knows Kurt only holds himself that regally when he’s in the wrong.

Rachel, forcefully oblivious to Blaine’s shock as anything other than a positive reaction, closes the distance between her and Blaine with a bound. She tugs him low enough that she can smack a kiss to his cheek. “Congrats, Daddy Number Two, we’re going to have a baby!”

Usually Rachel talks Kurt into going along with _her_ whims. Blaine doesn’t want to know how Kurt talked her into this one. Blaine backs out of her embrace. “Absolutely not. No. We’re not.”

The vintage bassinet in need of a new paint job that Kurt found at a flea market and pushed into the corner of the room suddenly looks less innocent. Baby things seem to be everywhere in a way Blaine hadn’t noticed before. The parenting magazine Kurt dropped into their grocery cart at the last minute out of what Blaine presumed to be boredom. An outfit that will be out of season by the time they have a baby unless they start…right now.

“But Kurt said – Kurt, I told you this was a little much! I have a perfectly nice uterus, Blaine, you don’t have to worry about that. It’ll expand, and it’s not like we’re expecting a tall baby from the two of you. It’ll hit a growth spurt sometime between 17 and never.”

“That’s like 24/7 babysitting for 9 months solid. It’s too much to ask for all combined birthdays and holidays for the rest of our lives.” Blaine tries to let Kurt know just how unimpressed he is with his eyes. It looks more deer-in-headlight than anything. “You can’t ask that of your friends.”

“We talked about doing this.” Kurt responds stubbornly.

“I’m sorry, what do you think we’ve talked about? Are we borrowing her uterus? Are we taking her child and raising it in front of her? Am I going to come home one day to find Rachel eight and a half months pregnant as a _surprise_? Are you having a baby without me? What?” His voice pitches higher with each question. Kurt and Rachel seem perfectly fine as Blaine spirals. Blaine turns, closes his eyes, and starts counting breaths. It’s too much too fast. Rachel and Kurt have always been a little much, especially with their forces combined. They live for being too much. It’s in their theatrical nature.

“I’m not going to have one without you.” Kurt is mildly exasperated but mostly reassuring as he starts to reach for Blaine’s turned back but reconsiders halfway. His voice turns gentler. “You said I could make plans.”

“I didn’t think you’d be so efficient.” Of course Kurt goes after what he wants full force. Blaine never remembers to account for how unpredictable Kurt is.

“That’s a problem?”

“I need to have some say. You’re steamrolling me.”

Kurt calmly takes over unpacking groceries from Blaine. “I’m making plans. It’s what I do. It’s not just going to appear. We have to make it happen.”

“You’re making assumptions. We don’t – we haven’t – there’s so much we haven’t talked about to even get to this point!” Blaine’s hair frizzes with how much he runs his hands over it.

“So talk to me.” Kurt’s soothing tone would work wonders on a child. Blaine pushes that mutinous thought away. Of course Kurt sounds all reasonable _now_ , encouraging Blaine to talk about his feelings and waiting expectantly. Like he didn’t skip over half a dozen steps they should’ve taken first just expecting Blaine to somehow keep up.

“I want our kid to be hapa like me.”

“I assumed you’d be the bio-dad, so, yeah, we’ve got that covered.”

“Really?” Blaine feels an unwanted twinge of gratitude – or at least relief – at Kurt’s assumption that Blaine should be the bio-dad, even though the list of things wrong with him sounds more like his insecurities talking than Kurt: he shouldn’t be a father lest they end up with a kid who is both cocky and insecure, too sensitive, too prone to depression and histrionics.

“You know how hard I judged that plotline on ‘The L Word.’” Kurt reminds him. “Who wants to have a baby with someone they don’t want that baby to resemble?”

“I thought the eyerolling was for my long distance ‘L Word’ marathon with Sam once we wrapped up ‘Rizzoli and Isles.’”

“Okay, so I was judging a lot of things,” Kurt admits. Kurt offers Blaine his hand and gives Blaine’s a squeeze. “This is the same show with a plotline on seducing someone into a threesome to make a baby.”

It’s Rachel’s turn to make a face.

“Whereas this…” Kurt gestures between the three of them with the hand holding Blaine’s. “This is a fun, wholesome ambush into having a baby with us where no one gets told their identity it too inconvenient to pass on and we _separately_ have celebratory sex when it works.”

Blaine holds their clasped hands over his heart. Its pounding turns into an easier to ignore thump. “I mean, practically speaking, we’ll get a cheaper kid if you’re the bio-dad because we won’t be completely screwed on vision and dental –”

“I forgot you used to have braces,” Kurt interrupts with a smile. “Picturing a tinier version of you with a mouth full of metal dispensing advice like you’re not 12 years old is something I’m a little sad I missed.”

“Maybe we could avoid that quirk as well.”

“Nurture, honey.”

Blaine’s lip twinges at the image of a kid picking up their mannerisms, climbing all over their furniture and throwing imperialistic glares when told to get down. “Having a kid related to me doesn’t freak me out anymore. I used to think I was too screwed up to chance it. Like I shouldn’t pass that on. I don’t hate myself that much anymore. I don’t want to do some fucked up eugenics thing to myself. I don’t feel like it has to be me either, though, that’s not - I just don’t want to erase that part of me.”

“We can look for a Filipina egg donor. Or we’ll go with my original plan and use you. Or both. I don’t care.”

Blaine exhales and thinks of what else is reasonable to insist upon while Kurt is keen on agreeing. “We still need to put a lot more in the baby account.”

“Okay.” Kurt humors him with a too emphatic nod. Kurt is rarely so eager to please. It throws Blaine a little. That’s Blaine’s domain.

“You have to promise me you’re not going to make one as a surprise. I have to know.”

“It’d put all other surprise parties to shame.” Kurt’s eyes glaze over as he pictures it. “I’d pick a day that’s not close to birthdays or any major holidays and invite all our friends and then I’d put a bow on Rachel’s belly.”

Rachel snorts.

“Do _you_ want to be surprised?” Blaine asks.

“I think I’d be even more unbearable. I’m not good at waiting. I know I’ve been… intense.” Kurt smiles an apology. “I’ll try to wait patiently until you’re ready, but as soon as we can have a baby, I want to know.”

“Okay then. Also, no more secret baby meetings.”

“All baby meetings will be regularly scheduled with changes to time and place made at least a week in advance.” Rachel crosses her heart.

“And we both have to read, like, a stack of vetted baby books first. And Rachel needs more than half an hour to actually think about it.”

“Please, you two were giggling about playing house back in high school: I think I’ve had time to consider what to say when you inevitably asked for my help,” Rachel says. “The answer has been ‘yes’ for years now.”

Rachel as their surrogate is actually perfect, now that Blaine lets himself consider it. They see her all the time, and love and trust her, and she might not hate them by the end. He doesn’t want to get too attached to an idea that’s technically still a whim, but it could work.

“And, um…” Blaine suspects Kurt would be better at making demands. “Um. We’re sending them to public school.”

“Not likely.” Kurt kisses Blaine’s cheek in apology. ~~~~

Blaine pauses as he thinks of what else. There are decisions he's forgetting that they need to make. There's more they have to think of. Not a single rational thought comes to him. Instead, Blaine tears up. It seemed like it had to be so far away. He had to be the reasonable one. He couldn't let himself get caught up in Kurt’s fantasy and let them both be disappointed. He was content to wait, but now he just wants.

Kurt looks mildly panicked. “If it’s that important to you –”

Blaine cuts him off, his own voice unsteady as he says, “We’re having a baby. Oh my god. We’re having a _baby_ , Kurt.”

It's shockingly easy to picture if he lets himself. The highly idealized future where they don't mind the late nights and early mornings and never having time or money again because Kurt looks cute cooing at their fussing little creation. The birthdays where they shower their kid and Rachel with gifts. The strange but loving family they'll make together. 

“Not yet,” Kurt teases. He tugs Blaine into a hug and beckons for Rachel to join them.

“What am I forgetting?” Blaine mumbles into Kurt’s shoulder. He wipes at his eyes before he can turn into more of a mess and then loops an arm around Rachel to complete their group hug. “There’s so much more I’m forgetting.”

Kurt kisses the top of his head. “We’ll figure it out as we go. That’s what parents do.”

“Not, like, immediately though, Kurt. I’m serious. Soon, but I know there’s a million things I’m forgetting we’ll have to figure out first.” It’s hard to sound too threatening through happy tears. ~~~~

Kurt rubs soothing circles on Blaine’s back in apology for freaking him out. "I'll try to be patient."

"We all know that's one of your virtues," Rachel teases. 

"We agreed you can get away with whatever you want _after_ you're with child." Kurt counters. 

"So that's how you did it." Blaine teases back. 

Rachel pokes Blaine’s side. "You're gonna spoil me worse than you already do." 

And yeah, Blaine can picture that too. 


End file.
